Keep Holding On
by iwrite4you3411
Summary: Yes, iwrite4you3411 is back for another fill length story, and will not die halfway in. Full summary inside, but here's a quick summary of the summary. Beck's father is abusive, Ryder is out to get Beck and his 2 best friends, so Beck does everything to protect his friends and himself, even if that's not possible. Better than it sounds, I promise. BADE. Rated M for several reasons.
1. Prologue

**Keep Holding On**

**A/N: HELLO! Ok, so let me tell you now before everyone starts asking, it's been much too long, I know…so, I'm abandoning That Thing Called Love. I know, hate me all you want, but I really want to start over with a new story! So, anyway, you already read the summary I hope, but I'll post it again in a moment. Just letting you know, writing happy fics isn't really my forte, so this is gonna be a rather depressing fic, but I'll try to add some humor here and there where it's necessary. As I mentioned before, this mainly revolves around Beck, but there will be A LOT of Bade, because I need Bade to survive. So, anyway, I hope you like it, and PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Summary: Ever since Beck was a child, he'd been neglected and abused by his disgruntled father. As he got older, he learned not to fight back. The only two people he has are Robbie and Jade, who are always being taunted and bullied by Ryder Daniels. Beck does everything he can to protect his friends and himself…despite his situation at home. But he soon learns he can't protect them forever. Rated M for violence, self-harm, mature situations, and language.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Dan Schneider, if I was, Victorious would still be going, and Sam&Cat would've never been created.**

**Chapter 1**

I stared intently at the Nintendo DS in my hands. I was playing a zombie game I had begged mother so much for, she finally caved and bought it.

That doesn't happen a lot though, usually when I start begging, mother will scold me…that's why she never lets me come to the store with her.

She usually decided to go when dad was home to watch me, but Dad had to leave for something urgent at work, so I had to go with mom.

I had already explained to mom, I was 10 years old, I didn't need someone watching over me all the time. I was in the _5th _grade for Christ's sake.

But no, my mom wouldn't let me stay home alone for even a few minutes. Dad didn't care though, he never cared what I did.

I try to talk to him, and create a relationship with him, but he's always too busy to talk to me, or too busy to do something with me.

Mom says to be patient with him. She says since he's so stressed with work, he doesn't have time to do childish things with me.

So, I figured, that once I was grown up, and a real man, he'd have time for me.

Not only does he ignore me, when he gets really angry, he'll hit me, or push me around.

He doesn't mean it, he just gets really angry sometimes. Although it hurts, he always apologizes.

Mother is easily annoyed by me. She says I whine too much, and I'm not 'grateful for what I have'.

So, mother's annoyed by me, and my dad always ignores…so you'd think my life completely sucks. But it doesn't, I do have friends.

Well, 2 of them.

Robbie Shapiro. I've known Robbie for about 3 years now, since the 2nd grade. Robbie's kind of weird, and he has this puppet named Rex, and for some reason, he thinks he's real. Robbie's cool though…sometimes.

And then there's Jade West. Normally, I don't hang out with _girls_…but Jade's the only exception. I've known her since I moved here, right before I started kindergarten. A lot of people are scared of Jade, and I understand why. She can be pretty mean sometimes, but when she's just with me and Robbie, she's fine.

So, anyway, I was sitting on the bus, playing my new zombie game.

I had snuck out of school early and snuck into the bus garage before getting onto my bus and hiding in the back seat.

I hated being in school, people made fun of me because of the people I hung out with. Most people rejected Robbie and Jade…that's why they were my friends. And since they were my friends, people rejected me too.

I flinched when I heard the bus doors open. I quickly slouched down, making sure I was hidden.

The bus driver must've been getting ready to go and pick up everyone from school.

For just in case he was about to walk down the aisle and check to see if anyone left something, I slid under the seat and peeked down the aisle.

Instead of seeing the bus drivers ugly old brown tennis shoes, I saw a very familiar pair of black combat boots stop by the seat I was under.

"What're you doing?" Jade asked boredly.

"I thought you were the bus driver," I muttered as I pulled myself out from under the seat.

"Why are you on the bus, school doesn't get out for another 20 minutes," she pointed out.

"Well, what're _you_ doing out here? School doesn't get out for another 20 minutes," I retorted.

She glared at me and crossed her arms. She sighed and sat in the seat next to me.

She grabbed my Nintendo DS and pulled it out of my hands before closing it and setting it on the floor. "Why did you leave school?" She asked softly.

"Ryder locked me in my locker and dumped everything out of my backpack," I replied boredly, avoiding her icy gaze.

"Ryder's an idiot. Don't let him get to you, you're better than he is," she informed me.

"What's this? Jade being nice and giving me advice?" I joked.

"Don't push it. I'm only saying this because you're my friend," she retorted.

"Thanks," I replied.

"Thanks for what?" She asked confused.

"For being my friend," I replied with a laugh.

She smiled at me, "You're welcome," she stated.

…

Once I got home, I was excited when I saw Dad's car in the driveway.

I got off of the bus and ran up to my front door. I went inside and set my bag down by the door.

"Dad, guess what?" I exclaimed as I went into the dining room where he was sitting reading the newspaper.

He didn't respond, he just continued reading.

I sighed, and decided to continue, "Baseball tryouts are tomorrow, so I thought maybe we could practice tonight so I'm ready for—," I started rambling, but once he looked up at me, an upset expression claimed his face.

"Ugh, damn it Beck, you tracked mud in again," he pointed out angrily.

I looked back at my path, and saw several muddy foot prints trailing behind me.

It was wet and muddy outside, and I had forgotten to take my shoes off…_again_.

"Dad, I'm sorry, I forgot," I claimed in a small voice.

"You _always_ forget. You're so goddamn careless, clean that mess up now, and go to your room," he bellowed angrily.

"I'm sorry. I didn't—," I started exclaiming, but he shot me a glare that meant, if I didn't listen, he'd get physical.

I sighed in defeat and cleaned up my mess before removing my shoes and heading upstairs to my room.

Once I went up to my room, I closed the door behind me and sighed.

I was excited…I had thought he'd play baseball with me. We hadn't played anything together in over a year.

I walked over to my dresser and picked up the only baseball I owned. I remembered all of the times we threw it around together in the backyard. And how he'd always tell me how great I was doing, even though I was doing awful.

"Psst. Beck!" I hear a familiar voice exclaim.

I walked over to my window and saw Robbie and Jade looking up at me.

"Hey guys. I can't come down, I tracked mud in the house again," I informed them.

"Aww…but we were gonna go to the park," Robbie informed me.

"Sorry guys, maybe tomorrow," I replied sadly.

"Try not to get in trouble tomorrow," Jade warned.

"I'll try, that's not easy, you know that," I reminded her.

I always hated it when I couldn't hang out with my friends. I got in trouble a lot, so this wasn't abnormal.

Later that night, dad had been called into work, and mom was downstairs.

Since Dad was gone, I was sure that it'd be ok if I came out of my room.

When I went downstairs, I saw Mom shoving her phone in her purse.

"Mom?" I asked softly, making her turn around quickly.

"Oh, Beck…I thought you were asleep," she stated.

I glanced at the clock, and then back at her, "Its 7:09," I informed her.

"Right," she replied as she grabbed her keys.

"Where are you going?" I asked confused.

"I just have to run a couple errands," she shrugged.

"Alright, I'll go get my shoes," I stated boredly as I went to go and retrieve my shoes, but mom stopped me by placing her hands on my shoulders and looking me in the eyes.

"No, honey…I've decided, that you're 10 years old, so you can be left home alone for a few minutes, I won't be gone long," she explained.

"Really?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yup. I love you Beck," she stated before kissing my forehead.

"I love you too," I whispered as she got up and walked towards the door.

"I'll be back I promise," she nodded as she opened the door and left.

But her and I both knew for a fact, that she wasn't coming back.

**A/N: Sooo…what did you think? They'll be older in the next chapter, this was kinda like a prologue, but it also wasn't. So, tell me. Did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Despise it? Should I stop writing forever? PLEASE REVIEW! I will not update unless I have 3 reviews, and if I have those 3 reviews, I will update tomorrow, I promise :)**


	2. Afraid

**Keep Holding On**

**A/N: Thank you for your wonderful reviews! I'm so glad you guys like this so far :) There's plenty more to come. This chapter will be longer than the first, and I didn't intend for it to be this long (almost 3000 words), but it just happened.**

**Chapter 4**

It had been 7 years since mother disappeared. I had known that Dad was hitting her too, but I didn't think she'd leave, and leave me with him.

A part of me hated her for that, but another part of me wanted her to come back.

I was still living with my dad. He still hit me when he got upset, and I was too weak to fight back. I knew if I fought back, he'd only hurt me more.

I was sitting out on my roof, watching the sun set.

It was pretty warm out, but the wind was making it slightly chilly.

I stared out at the sun, thinking about what it'd be like if Mother hadn't left, and if Dad didn't drink all the time, and actually had the time to pay attention to me.

Ever since Mother left, I stopped caring what everyone said about me at school. And since Robbie and Jade were the only two who _truly _cared about me, I became more protective over them.

I couldn't care less about what people said about me…but when someone insulted Robbie or Jade, I'd retaliate. I'd been suspended a couple times for fighting with Ryder and a few other kids.

Ryder knew exactly how to push my buttons and get me in trouble, and I fell for it every time.

Robbie and Jade were still my best friends.

Well, Jade was more than a friend now…if you know what I mean.

I didn't even flinch when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up at Jade as she sat down next to me. She always knew exactly where to find me. I was on the roof most of the time, so it's not like it was that hard.

"Hey," she greeted softly.

"Hey," I replied.

"Why weren't you at school today?" She questioned.

I shrugged, "I didn't feel like it…why, did something happen?" I asked worried.

Jade shook her head, "No, since you weren't there, Ryder laid off of me and Robbie," she explained.

I nodded slowly, "Good," I muttered.

"Beck…look at me," she ordered briskly.

I sighed and looked at her beautiful face.

"You need to stand up to your father," she proclaimed.

"I can't," I replied sheepishly.

"Why not? Just…threaten to call the police or something," she exclaimed.

"It's not that easy Jade," I retorted.

"Why not?" She asked annoyed.

"It's just not, ok, drop it," I stated in frustration.

"Why isn't it that easy?" She questioned slowly. She was determined to get an answer, so I gave it to her.

"Because at first he was only hitting me. But then he started hitting my mother too, someone I loved. And I love you…if he were to hurt _you_, I'd die," I explained, looking into her sapphire eyes.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and sighed, "He won't hurt me, Beck," she tried convincing me.

"You don't know that," I whispered as I looked back out at the sun.

She sighed and rested her head against my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against me before laying on my back, with her pressed against me.

If Dad ever hurt Jade, I'd kill him…no doubts about it.

Or if he hurt Robbie, I'd still kill him.

"Beck," Jade stated in a worried tone as she grabbed onto my arm and sat up, pulling me up with her.

I sighed in shame and remained silent.

She ran her thumb over the fresh scars on my wrist.

"You promised you'd stop," she whispered.

I couldn't conjure up any words. I knew how much she hated it when I cut, but it was my only method to relief. Besides being with her or Robbie of course, but I couldn't always be with them.

Instead of responding, I just pulled her back into my embrace and laid back down.

…

"Beck! Beck!" I heard my father bellow, pulling me out of my slumber.

I winced and looked up as my father grabbed me by the arm and yanked me up to my feet, also forcing me to let go of Jade, waking her up.

"I just got a call from your principal, saying you weren't in school today!" He exclaimed as he gripped my arm tighter.

Before I could respond, Dad looked towards Jade, "Get the hell outta here!" He shouted at her.

Jade constantly denied it, but I knew she was scared of my father. I completely understood why.

"Jade, please go, I'll call you later," I promised.

She sighed in defeat before looking at me and then my father, and then doing as I told her.

As soon as she was gone, my father's fist collided with my temple, knocking me over.

I gripped onto the shingles, so I wouldn't slide off of the roof.

I winced in pain as my head spun.

"Why didn't you go to school today?" He yelled.

"Because my head still hurt from yesterday, and I just needed to sleep," I explained as it pulled myself up to my feet.

I prepared myself for whatever he was gonna do next.

Honestly, I was shocked when he just glared at me before storming back into the house.

I sighed and walked over to the side of the roof before turning around and lowering myself down, and gripping the window sill, trying to guide my way down to the ground.

Once I was on the ground, I peeked in the window and saw Dad sitting in his recliner reading.

I checked the time.

7:27.

As long as I was home by 9, Dad wouldn't freak out.

With that, I headed off towards Robbie's place.

Mrs. Shapiro let me in kindly, and I nodded politely.

"Robbie and Jade are downstairs," she informed me.

"K, thanks," I replied before heading down the stairs into Robbie's basement, which was basically like his own little apartment.

He had a couch, a large flat screen TV, a pool table, an air hockey table, a mini fridge, a nice bathroom, and a huge stereo.

Me, Jade, and Robbie spent most of our time down there. I didn't get in as much trouble as I used too when I was younger, but my dad just hit me for fun now.

Sometimes he had a reason, but most of the time it was because he was angry, and he didn't have a punching bag, so I was his substitute.

I would sneak out most of the time and go to Robbie's.

Dad never cared enough to care where I went.

"Hey Beck," Robbie greeted me as he retrieved some Moca-Colas out of the fridge.

"Hey," I replied as I sat on the couch and rested my arm on the couch behind Jade.

Robbie tossed me a Moca-Cola, and then tossed one to Jade.

"You ok?" She asked me.

I nodded and opened the Moca-Cola.

"Beck…" she stated softly.

I looked at her, "I'm fine…honest," I assured her.

She sighed and sipped her Cola.

Robbie turned on the stereo, which started playing One and Only.

"I dare you to let me be, your one and only. I promise I'm worth it, to hold in your arms. So come on and give me a chance. To prove I am the one who can, walk a mile, until the end starts," Jade sang beautifully. That was another reason I loved her so much, she had one of the best voices I've ever heard.

I always seemed to feel a little bit better whenever she sang.

Robbie started singing along in a ridiculous voice, trying to cheer me up.

Then Jade transitioned into a weird manly singing voice, which made me laugh along with Robbie's voice.

"You guys are awesome," I informed them.

They both smiled at me.

I don't know what I'd do without those two. They stuck by me for so long.

"So, Beck, you up for a game of pool?" Robbie asked me.

"Of course," I replied as I got off of the couch.

"I play winner," Jade exclaimed as she sat on the back of the couch as watched as Robbie racked up the balls.

We started playing, and I was sure to show off to impress Jade.

I did a sweet shot behind my back, and actually succeeded in shooting the 12 ball in one of the pockets.

"Show off," Robbie muttered.

I just chuckled and watched as he took his shot.

Robbie was pretty good, and I don't wanna brag, but I'm pretty good too.

"Jade, that was your father, he says you need to come home," Mrs. Shapiro stated as she came halfway down the stairs.

Jade sipped her soda again, "K, I'll see you guys tomorrow," Jade remarked as she slung her purse over her shoulder and set her soda down.

I pulled her in for a quick kiss and smiled at her, "I'll call you later," I promised.

She nodded, "K, have fun you two," she instructed before heading up the stairs.

I sighed as I watched her disappear.

"Beck," Robbie spoke up.

I looked towards him, waiting for him to continue.

"She's really worried about you," he informed me.

"I know," I replied softly.

"No, you don't…when she came here, she was _crying_. She told me not to tell you, but you needed to know. She can't stand watching you get hurt all the time. You need to stand up to your father, you—," Robbie started rambling, which just made my anger rise.

"Just shut up, Robbie, ok? Drop it!" I shouted at him angrily.

A hurt look came over his face as he sighed in defeat and put his pool stick away.

"Robbie, I didn't mean to shout at you. It's just that, you don't understand. If I fight back against my father, he'll only hurt me more, or worse, he'll hurt you or Jade, and I can't let that happen. And…" I trailed off as I took a deep breath, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"And?" Robbie asked softly waiting for me to continue.

"And, it's been going on so long that I'm _afraid _Robbie. I'm too afraid to fight back. I can't fight back…I _can't_," I explained, ignoring the couple tears that escaped.

I put my pool stick away and sat on the couch. I hid my face in my hands, trying to stop more tears.

"Beck, it's ok…I understand. It's not as easy as we think it is, I get it," Robbie coaxed as he sat in the chair across from the couch.

I looked up at him, "Thanks Rob," I choked out.

"Will you come to school tomorrow?" Robbie questioned.

"Yeah," I replied. "I will," I added.

…

The next morning, I drove both Robbie and Jade to school.

Once we got there, I stopped at the Grub Truck and got a coffee for myself and Jade.

We went into the school and went to our lockers, before grouping together over at Jade and Robbie's lockers since they were right next to eachother.

"I have to stay after school today, I'll meet you guys around 5," Jade informed us.

"Ok, what're you staying after for?" I asked curiously.

"There are auditions for a singing competition after school," she replied, and I nodded.

"Good luck," Robbie noted.

"You'll do great," I assured her.

"I know I will, that's why I'm auditioning," she replied in a 'duh' tone.

"Uh oh…Ryder alert," Robbie muttered.

I rolled my eyes and faced Ryder as he approached us.

"So, Becky, why weren't you at school yesterday, scared of me?" Ryder taunted.

"A deer wouldn't be scared of you," Jade retorted.

"I wouldn't try and act all tough against me, _West_…you don't know what I'm capable of," he threatened.

"I wouldn't go down that road if I were you, Daniels," I threatened angrily.

I knew the only reason he had threatened Jade was to piss me off, so I'd hit him and get suspended again.

"So, why didn't you come to school?" Ryder asked again.

"That's none of your business," I retorted.

"Wow…I'm surprised you let these two losers out of your sight for a whole day. They could've gotten hurt," he taunted.

I grabbed Jade by the hand, "Come on you guys, we might catch its stupid," I remarked before walking off with the two of them.

…

After school that day, I went home with Robbie, and we played a game of pool.

"Hey, I hope you don't mind, but I invited someone over to hang out with us," Robbie randomly mentioned while we played pool.

I furrowed my eyebrows confused, I was 100% sure Robbie didn't have any other friends.

"Who?" I questioned.

"His name is Andre Harris, he's new. And he looked all alone, so I invited him to hang with us," he shrugged.

"I'm not sure how I feel about this," I muttered.

"So, you want your only friends to me and Jade?" He asked skeptically.

"Yes," I replied without even thinking.

"Well, too bad, Andre's cool," he explained.

"We're not cool, remember. We're losers, that's why nobody likes us. And I'm sure once Andrew spends the night with us, he'll bail on us," I retorted before taking my shot.

"Andre," Robbie corrected.

"Whatever…take your shot," I ordered annoyed.

"Well, fine, consider him my friend. And unlike you, I _want_ more friends," he commented.

"Well, I don't," I retorted.

"And why not?" Robbie asked annoyed.

"Why do you think," I snapped at him.

He lightened up when he remembered why I was reluctant to make new friends.

"Just give it a try…please?" He asked sheepishly.

I sighed, "Fine, when is he gonna be here?" I asked in a melancholy tone.

"Any moment now," Robbie replied.

"Robbie, you have another friend up here," Mrs. Shapiro called down the stairs.

"Send him down!" He yelled back.

I gripped onto my pool stick as I looked up the stairs and watched as a dark skinned boy with thin dreadlocks came down the stairs.

"Hey Andre," Robbie greeted.

"Sup," he replied coolly.

"Andre, this is my best friend Beck, Beck this Andre, he moved here from…" Robbie trailed off trying to think of where it was.

"New York," Andre finished for him.

"Yeah," Robbie nodded.

I glanced at Andre and nodded before taking my next shot.

I was basically trying to ignore him, but he didn't make it very easy once he started babbling about music, and music origins, and other music related stuff.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Yes, we get it, you like music," I snapped at him.

Robbie gave me a disapproving look, but I ignored him.

"Can I play?" Andre asked ignoring my rebuttal.

"Yeah, I'll play you," Robbie stated.

I put my pool stick away and went over to the couch before turning on the TV.

I flipped through the channels boredly until I came across Bones.

I left it on that channel and watched, barely paying attention, since Andre decided it was time to start talking about music again.

I rolled my eyes and turned up the TV.

"What time is it?" Robbie asked me.

"Uh, almost 6," I replied as I checked my phone.

"Didn't Jade say she'd be here around 5?" He questioned.

My eyes widened, I had forgotten about that.

"I'll call her," I stated as I pulled out my phone and went straight to speed dial.

After pressing call, I held my phone to my ear, waiting for her to pick up.

After a couple rings, she did.

"Hey," she answered.

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be here an hour ago," I pointed out.

"I know, there was an issue during auditions, and it ran later than expected. I'm on my way over right now though, I'll be there in 5, alright?" She asked.

I sighed, "Alright, see you in a few. I love you," I assured her.

_"Iloveyoutoo_," she muttered, almost too quiet for me to hear. I knew she loved me back, she just wasn't as open about saying it.

And I was fine with that, as long as I knew she really did love me.

I tuned out Andre's rambling until Jade arrived.

When she came down, she had a pizza with her.

She knew how much I loved pizza, and we always had it at Robbie's place, once a week.

I approached her and pressed my lips against hers before taking the pizza.

"Wasn't it my week to get pizza?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, but I drove by the place, and I really wanted some pizza, so I got some," she shrugged as she set her purse down. She stopped and looked towards Andre, "Who's this?" She wondered aloud.

"Jade, this is Andre, he moved here from New York. Andre, this is Beck's girlfriend, and also my best friend, Jade," Robbie introduced them.

"Nice to meet you," Andre greeted as he held out his hand to shake hers, but she snubbed him and sat on the couch next to me.

I opened the box of pizza and pulled out a slice, and took a bite into it without even checking to see what was on it.

I regretted it as I nearly choked out the chunk of pineapple.

I spit it out into a napkin and grimaced in disgust.

"_What_?" Jade asked annoyed.

"You know I hate pineapple," I pointed out.

"Oh, well, I love pineapple, so too bad for you," she replied before biting into a piece.

I just chuckled and picked off the pineapple chunks and continued eating it.

…

**A/N: I know this chapter was fairly boring, but I promise, there is some more drama on the way ;) PLEASE REVIEW. I will not update tomorrow unless there are 8 reviews. Also, tomorrow is my last day of school, so I'll be in a good mood, so, if I'm lacking in reviews…**


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